Countdown to 'I Do': Navigating Last-Minute Jitters and Wedding Week Worries
A glimpse into what it's like the in the final days leading up to your wedding.
To my brides-to-be,
It feels like yesterday that I got engaged, and in less than two weeks, I’ll become a wife.
As a bride who’s wedding planning, we all know how easy it is to get tied up in the little details - what the florals look like, details for the ceremony, music choices, and so much more. But if you’ve been following along with my newsletter, you know that I’m consciously always reminding myself to take a step back when I notice that happens, while encouraging others to do the same. At the end of the day, all that matters is your relationship and the love that you share.
With that being said, it’s completely normal to feel nerves leading up to the big day, especially in these last two weeks. The process is an emotional rollercoaster filled with excitement, stress, nerves, happiness and so much more.
For me, other than planning a wedding with the man of my dreams, everything has felt the same between us in the best way possible. I sometimes even joke around that I already feel married.
But I realized that the closer I get to my wedding day, the more I had to actually accomplish my to-do list rather than brushing it off to the side like I maybe did at the 6-month mark. Naturally, with more on your to-do list on top of your everyday reality, the planning can become more of a stressor than excitement at times. And the sooner you get to the day, the more it builds up and the more real it all feels.
So not only do you feel excited and stressed at the same time, but now you also have a layer of nerves.
I’ve always been the type of person who can sleep without a problem, but in the past few days, I’ve found myself waking up often in the middle of the night and struggling to go back to sleep. In those moments, I remember things that I have to accomplish the next day for the wedding that I add in my calendar as a reminder. Obviously this doesn’t mean everyone is going to lose sleep leading up to their wedding, but it is interesting to recognize these new abnormal patterns that go hand in hand with nerves, which is completely normal! But, if you’re like me and need a little CBD at times to help you sleep, Highline Wellness CBD Gummies for Sleep have been a savior for me.
Now, with nerves, we naturally fear the unknown. Let’s talk about both the irrational and legitimate fears that you might be feeling and how to manage them.
First things first, here’s your friendly reminder to keep in mind what you do and don’t have control over. Many times legitimate fears are the ones you have control over, and this stems from a place of wanting every detail to be perfect.
How to Take Charge of the Wedding Fears We Have Control Over
Prepping your vows: Fear of messing up your vows can be addressed by practicing and rehearsing them beforehand. Take the time to familiarize yourself with the words and delivery.
Timeline Management: Fear of the day not going according to plan can be managed by creating a detailed timeline and communicating it clearly with vendors, wedding party members, and key family members. Delegate responsibilities to trusted individuals to ensure everything runs smoothly.
Appearance Concerns: Fears about your hair, makeup, or attire mishaps can be minimized by scheduling trials with your beauty team to ensure your attire fits properly and is well-prepared in advance. Having touch-up supplies on hand can also provide reassurance.
Guest Accommodations: Fears about your guests comfort and satisfaction can be addressed by providing clear instructions and information about the venue, transportation options, and any special accommodations needed.
Family Dynamics: Fear of family conflicts or tensions can be mitigated by having open and honest conversations with family members in advance, setting boundaries if necessary, and designating a trusted point person to handle any issues that may arise on the day.
Weather Contingencies: Worries about inclement weather can be addressed by having a backup plan in place, such as renting tents or indoor spaces, and keeping an eye on weather forecasts in the days leading up to the wedding to make any necessary adjustments.
Vendor Coordination: Fear of vendors not delivering as expected can be minimized by thoroughly vetting and communicating with vendors throughout the planning process, reviewing contracts carefully, and confirming details and expectations in writing before the wedding day.
Photography Worries: Fears of not getting the perfect wedding photos can be managed by providing your photographer with a shot list and discussing your vision and preferences beforehand.
Traffic and Lateness Concerns: Fear of guests arriving late to the ceremony due to traffic or other delays can be addressed by providing clear directions and transportation options, as well as accounting for potential delays in your timeline. Consider including buffer time between key events in your schedule to accommodate late arrivals, and communicate any updates or changes to your guests via your wedding website. Additionally, designate a point person, such as a wedding coordinator or trusted friend, to assist latecomers and ensure they can seamlessly join the celebration without causing disruption.
Emotional Preparedness: Fear of being overwhelmed with emotions on the day can be eased by practicing mindfulness and relaxation techniques in the weeks leading up to the wedding. Take time for self-reflection and consider writing down your thoughts and feelings to process them in a healthy way. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who can provide comfort and encouragement.
So, what are some fears you can control that are on your mind? Let’s figure out how to tackle them:
Facing Fears Out Of Your Control
Weather: Unpredictable weather conditions, such as rainstorms, snowstorms, heatwaves, or more, can all have an impact on your wedding day. Even if you weren’t planning on having an outdoor ceremony, you might have always envisioned your wedding photos to be outside. No matter the scenario you had envisioned, this will always be 100% out of your control, so the best piece of advice would be to just laugh and run with it.
Vendor Reliability: Despite thorough vetting and communication, there's always a slight risk of vendors not delivering as expected or encountering last-minute issues. If this is something you’re losing sleep over, consider coming up with several hypothetical “what if” plans, that way you won’t be as thrown off the day of your wedding when something doesn’t go as planned.
Health and Illness: Concerns about falling ill or experiencing health issues, either personally or among key members of the wedding party or guests, can cause anxiety rightfully so. In life, this will always be a fear, and while it’s natural to be concerned about the health of your loved ones, it’s unfortunately something we cannot control. Too much time spent worrying about something like this might impact your mood in the days leading up to your big day, so try and just focus on the now and enjoy every moment leading up to your day.
Travel Disruptions: Unexpected travel disruptions, such as flight cancellations or delays, can affect guests' arrival times and overall logistics. The most you can do is ask your loved ones to plan accordingly with the “what if” scenarios in mind, hoping that they take a flight that gives them enough wiggle room in case something doesn’t go as planned.
Family Dynamics: While efforts can be made to address family tensions, unexpected conflicts or dynamics may arise that are beyond the couple's control. Trust your loved ones that they’ll put on a good face on your wedding day.
Technology Failures: Technical issues with sound systems, microphones, or other audiovisual equipment during the ceremony or reception can occur unexpectedly. Just run with it!
Unexpected Expenses: Despite budgeting and planning, unforeseen expenses may arise in the final days leading up to the wedding, causing financial stress. Prepare for this hypothetical situation in mind by setting aside funds in case something pops up at the last minute.
Venue Restrictions: Changes in venue policies or unexpected restrictions may impact certain aspects of the wedding plans. All you can do is roll with it and embrace it at that point!
Guest Behavior: While most guests are considerate and respectful, unexpected behavior from guests, such as excessive drinking or causing disruptions, can occur. If this happens, trust that someone around them is responsible enough to remove them from the party to avoid any drama, and make sure you soak in all of the good rather than the bad.
Personal Feelings: Emotional fluctuations, such as heightened nerves or unexpected waves of emotion, may occur in the days leading up to the wedding, despite efforts to remain calm and composed. Lean on your fiancé, friends and family to express these concerns and jitters to be reassured of how amazing it will be. Sometimes you just need little words of encouragement.
What are some fears out of your control that are on your mind? Let’s vent about them.
So, what's normal and what's not in the weeks leading up to your wedding? Normal is feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness, double-checking details, and eagerly counting down the days.
Not normal? Obsessing over every tiny detail or letting fear overshadow the joy of this momentous occasion.
Take comfort in knowing that your nerves are a sign of how much this day means to you. Channel that energy into self-care activities, whether it's indulging in a facial, massage, dinner with a bridesmaid or taking quiet moments for reflection and relaxation leading up to the big day.
Remember, perfection is subjective, and your wedding day will be beautiful in its own imperfectly perfect way.
As you navigate the final days before saying "I do," remember to cherish this time with your loved ones, especially the last days as a fiancé. Your wedding day is about more than just the perfect flowers or flawless decor—it's a celebration of love, surrounded by those who mean the most to you.
With love and anticipation,
Lexi