As I write another weekly newsletter, I recognize that this week isn’t just another week of fun wedding topics. This week, innocent civilians in Israel were brutally killed and kidnapped by Hamas, a terrorist organization in Gaza. As a Jewish woman, I know that in times like these, silence is not an option. If you follow me, you know that I’ve been active on both Instagram and TikTok, using my platform to the fullest extent possible to express my unwavering support for Israel and the entire Jewish community, especially those who have suffered the heartbreaking loss of their loved ones. So if you’re reading this and are hurting the same way I am, I want you to know you are not alone. As Jews, we are all in this together, and Israel will prevail.
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This week has been a whirlwind of emotions.
For starters, I felt distraught. All week I couldn’t wrap my head around everything that was going on. People always said that the Holocaust would never happen again, but never again is now. How could this be possible?
Any time I walked outside, I felt terrified. Terrified that someone would hurt me in the streets outside of my apartment because I am Jewish.
I felt guilty. Guilty that I knew that I was able to stay safe in my apartment knowing that so many people in Israel at the same time were suffering.
Then, I couldn’t help but get angry any time someone would post something on social media that wasn’t related to all of the horrific news occurring. But then I reminded myself, no one except for Hamas was prepared for any of this. As individuals, we fall in love, we book a wedding date months or years in advance, not ever thinking that such acts of terror could possibly exist. Having two older siblings that had weddings during the Pandemic has taught me that you can’t plan for these unknown life events. In your wedding planning journey, it’s important to keep a close eye on the contracts that you sign and the non-refundable deposits that you put down knowing the risks.
Then I got heartbroken. Not only am I sad for Jews around the world, but I also was sad for any Jewish brides and grooms who had to push through such challenging times to go on with what is supposed to be the best day of their lives. As a bride or groom, it’s important to remember that not everything goes smoothly in the wedding planning process and remind yourself that the only thing that matters at the end of the day is the love and safety you share with your significant other.
Next I started seeing posts of my Jewish friends celebrating their friends love, which helped lift my spirits. Uplifted to know that even in life’s toughest moments, our Jewish community always unites in both the highs and the lows.
Finally, I saw a post by the Israeli Defense Forces on Instagram captioned the following, “While Hamas destroys families, we build them back up. Almost six months ago, Or and his fiancé got engaged and set a wedding date for October 11th. However, when Hamas invaded on October 7th, Or was called up for reserve duty in the Paratroopers Brigade. Despite the ongoing war, Or’s soldiers arranged a surprise wedding ceremony for the two at the base.” That’s when I felt proud. I am so proud to be Jewish for exact moments like these. I love how we celebrate and embrace traditions with one another.
Some of my favorite Jewish traditions are at weddings.
The Hora is a lively and traditional Jewish dance often performed at weddings, where guests join hands and form a circle to celebrate the newlyweds by lifting them into the air on chairs while dancing to joyful music.
The Mazinka, also known as the “Mitzvah Tanz” in Yiddish, is a wedding dance that holds a special place in the hearts of the Ashkenazi Jewish community, symbolizing the completion of the family circle. This dance is traditionally performed during the last sibling to get married wedding. In the Mazinka, the parents of the bride or groom are seated on chairs while other people dance energetically around them, expressing their hapiness for the final sibling’s union.
I recently purchased my Ketubah from a Jewish woman named Rachelle who lives in Tel Aviv. For those who may not know, before a Jewish couples’ wedding ceremony, the couple signs a ketubah, which is a Jewish marriage contract outlining their commitment to one another. It often includes beautiful calligraphy and artwork and is signed by the couple and witnesses before the wedding ceremony. It is typically displayed in their home as a symbol of love and dedication.
Before this crisis, Rachelle and I spoke strictly about the ketubah that I was ordering from her. This week, Rachelle and I have spoken every day, none of it being related to my ketubah. I’ve checked in on Rachelle, and Rachelle has checked in on me. We’ve both been supportive to one another all the way across the world having never met in person.
This past week was also New York Bridal Fashion week, which is a renowned event in the world of weddings where designers showcase the latest trends and set the stage for brides with these new collections.
I was invited to several NYBFW events that I was so excited for, but after attending the first one on Monday morning I realized I couldn’t pretend to put on a smile all week.
The one event that I attended was at Galia Lahav, who is an Israeli designer. Their team flew in from for NYBFW before hearing all of the news. When they landed at JFK, they landed to about 800+ WhatsApp messages from their friends and family in Israel about all of the horrific events that were occurring. Let that sink in - the whole plane landed to find out that someone they knew was being brutally tortured and murdered. To follow, they then see on social media homes in their neighborhoods being invaded and destroyed. What was supposed to be a fun work trip that they worked so hard to plan had suddenly become the worst week of their lives. This Israeli team simply left for a work trip not realizing that they were escaping a terrorist attack. I’ve only met these girls a couple other times in person, but this week was different. The second we saw each other we instantly connected. We felt each others pain. We hugged tight and reminded each other that we will get through this together.
I firmly believe that the Jewish community has a special bond - and when things get hard, we have each other’s back. That’s what being Jewish is all about.
Even in the midst of challenging times, let’s remember that love has no boundaries. It’s a universal language that unites people from all walks of life. So this week, I turned from being angry, heartbroken, uplifted, proud and finally, thankful.
Thankful that we can find happiness even in the darkest times; thankful to be safe; thankful to have such a supportive Jewish community; and most importantly, so thankful to be in love and have my fiancé by my side through what has been one of the worst weeks in Jewish history.
Here’s to being such a tight-knit community, surrounded by so much love, not hate, and coming out stronger on the other side. I am constantly thinking of all of those who have been impacted by these absolutely atrocious events and praying for peace. I stand against anti-Semitism, and I hope you do too. Stand with us.
Here are ways you can help show your support:
Raise awareness using your powerful social media platforms. Below are some accounts I follow that stand with Israel against anti-Semitism:
Consider donating to provide aid to those in need, below are some credible links to donate to:
Latet: Met Council's Israeli counterpart Latet is at the forefront, providing emergency humanitarian assistance to those severely affected. By contributing, you'll help ensure that essential food and hygiene products reach families and communities impacted by the conflict.
United Hatzalah: As one of the primary emergency medical responders in Israel, your support ensures they have the necessary resources to respond quickly, saving countless lives.
UJA-Federation Israel Campaign: With a longstanding history of assisting Israeli communities, especially during times of crisis, your contribution will aid their comprehensive relief efforts across the country.
Magen David Adom: As Israel's national emergency medical, disaster, ambulance, and blood bank service, your donations will provide critical aid and resources to those in immediate need during these trying times.
Friends of the Israel Defense Fund (FIDF): Friends of the IDF is the sole organization authorized to collect charitable donations on
behalf of the soldiers of the Israel Defense Forces across the United States of America.
Check in on your Jewish friends or family. We are not okay and we need all of the support we can get.
With love & light,
Lexi