Your Bridal Party: From Choosing to Celebrating
How to navigate choosing your ideal bridal party along with creative ideas of how you can ask them.
Although your wedding is about you and your fiancé, there’s something special about having your loved ones by both of your sides along the journey. With that, one of the most thrilling yet challenging aspects of wedding planning many would argue is choosing whose in your bridal party. In this weeks newsletter, I’m here to share my personal experience selecting my bridal party and some advice - advice that I took from others which will hopefully help you all as well.
My Bridal Party Experience
As someone who values my friendships, I found there was one of two options I could take: 1) have a big bridal party or 2) have a small bridal party. For me, that was a simple answer. I knew from the beginning I didn’t want to have a large bridal party. I wanted it to be super intimate throughout my wedding planning journey, especially the day of my wedding that way I didn’t feel overwhelmed when getting ready.
Once I decided on that, I knew I had to narrow it down, so I took the simple route by starting with family. It was never a question that my sister would be my Matron of Honor. It also was never a question that my sister-in-laws would be my bridesmaids. Family has always come first in my life, and this was always something that was non-negotiable in my wedding planning process.
Then, I took a step back and thought about my friendships - both new and old - and where each of these friendships stand. I reflected back to who I’ve been friends with since my toddler days, and who still remains by my side. Fortunately, I had two girls who simply have been by my side through everything to this very day, and that’s when it felt like a no-brainer. Then I looked at my newer friendships that came later in my life and did the same. I thought to myself, “who has been there for me through every step along the way?” and the answer again just clicked.
Although there were still so many other friends and family who hold such an important place in my heart, I knew that I had to draw the line otherwise I could have kept going. I found it to be particularly difficult to pick and choose certain people in different groups of friends without hurting feelings, which I worked really hard to not do. That’s why I decided to have a small bachelorette party - with all of my closest friends who I love and want to celebrate the most special time in my life with.
How to narrow it down
Wedding Size
Talk to your fiancé about how you envision your wedding day. Do you imagine a small or big guest list? If you’re having a small wedding, does that mean you want a smaller bridal party, and visa versa? Keep in mind - even if you have a small or large guest count doesn’t mean that you have to do the same for your bridal party. If you want to keep it small - have your lifelong, closest friends who you talk to and hang with all of the time. If you want to have it big - include your closest friends both old and new.
Budget
It’s important to understand your spendings throughout your wedding planning journey - with your bridal party being one of them. People are often quick to think that budget quickly means the big things like venue, music selection, food, drinks, etc., but they also forget that your guest count and bridal party count is a huge piece of this. Do you plan to buy your bridesmaids their dresses? Will you pay for their hair and makeup? How many bridal bouquets do you need? Will you be getting them gifts? You may be thinking, “but can’t my bridesmaids just cover this themselves?!” but don’t forget that they have their own budgets too. Not only are they giving you a wedding gift, but they also may be paying for accommodations or arrangements to attend your wedding events.
How to avoid any hurt feelings
Talk to your friends
If you feel bad that you are not including specific friends or family in your bridal party, that likely means you should have a conversation with them regarding why. If your close friends really know you, they’ll understand the circumstances and not let a title in one phase of life define your friendship. If they take it personally and don’t understand, all you can do is apologize if they feel hurt by you and show them you care through your actions - reach out, stay connected, and keep them heavily involved in your wedding planning process.
Unique Ways to Ask Your Bridal Party
Host an Intimate Themed Dinner Party
In today’s world, bridesmaids proposals have gotten more popular and extravagant in the social media world. Brides are finding inspiration online to do all sorts of unique things to ask their friends or family to be in their bridal party, whether that be a gift box or an experience.
Personally speaking, I’ve always been someone who prefers to spend money on experiences spent with friends and family rather than purchasing expensive items. There’s nothing I love more than making special memories with my loved ones. With that in mind, I decided to host a Something Blue themed dinner party at my apartment. I emailed this invitation to the girls to save the date and dress in blue:
I worked with a company, called Set With Love to help craft a beautiful blue dinner table. They made the process so simple for me to execute and took away all of the stress of planning. We had cocktails, dinner, dessert and it was a great intimate experience where all of the girls got to know each other. I’d totally recommend this idea as it sets such a good tone going into your upcoming months or year(s) of wedding planning.
Another cute dinner idea, especially if you’re a pizza lover, is asking your bridal party using customized pizza boxes. My best friend asked me to be her Maid of Honor using this fun pizza party theme, and it was such a hit. Inside the boxes she put customized cheese boards with everyones names on it.
If you’re interested in doing this, you can download this image and upload it as a customized decal here, and then place the sticker on this 11x11 pizza box.
Private Cooking Class
Another cute, experiential idea is to set up a private cooking class. Some of my favorite NYC based cooking classes recommended for bridal party asks are below:
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Some cute gifts to provide your bridal party with at the event are as follows:
Private Workout Class
If you’re someone who loves health and wellness, a private workout is calling your name. I’ve seen girls do this in their favorite workout studio and afterwards had smoothies, energy shots, cakes, or desserts to celebrate! Some of my favorite NYC group workout classes are:
As a a mini gift to go with the workout theme, you can provide the girls with customized yoga mats, boxing gloves, water bottles or more with their names on it to use in the class:
Boozy Brunch
Lastly, you can never go wrong with a boozy weekend brunch with your girls. Whether it’s in your apartment with bagels, or at a restaurant, this is always a fun option for girls.
If you do it at home, you can set up your Bloody Mary bar with a big spread. Top top this off, you can cater in sandwiches, bagels, wraps or salads from your local deli.
If you do it at a restaurant, you can get an all you can drink package at a popular restaurant where they serve you pitchers of margs, or mimosas in bulk. Some of my favorite NYC brunch spots are:
Some cute gifts I love for a boozy brunch to put on everyone’s plates are:
Gift Box
Last but not least, you can never go wrong with a classic gift box for your bridal party. This is particularly a great idea for brides whose bridal party all lives in different places, that way you can ship it to them instead of organizing an in-person experience. Let’s be real, girls love gifts, especially when it’s a surprise.
Some of my favorite Bridesmaid gift ideas are linked in my Amazon Storefront and Etsy favorites!
I’m always sharing updated bridesmaid proposal ideas on both TikTok and Instagram, so make sure to give @lexitobin a follow for some inspo! As always, make sure to engage below and ask any questions - I would love to help you brainstorm for your special day!
With love,
Lexi